Yeah… I know. I’m STILL waffling on about beliefs. They’re just that important!
If you’ve followed the last few days, then you’ll hopefully have started to think about your own beliefs and considered the less helpful ones. You might have even decided on a few beliefs that just aren’t working for you anymore – maybe they did…maybe they never did; whatever the case, wherever these beliefs came from, you’re ready to let go.
Once that unhelpful belief has been evicted, we can start looking for a new tenant; one that supports our goals, dreams and happiness.
Here’s some unhelpful beliefs and some effective alternatives:
- Instead of believing, “I have to be loved by everybody – rejection is not an option,”why not try, “It is nice to be liked by people”.
- Instead of believing, “My value depends on what other people think of me,” why not try, “I recognise my own value and worth”.
- Instead of believing, “I have to do X, Y and Z today, and be 100% successful, otherwise I’m a failure,” why not try, “It feel good when I work hard and do my best.”
- Instead of believing, “Taking time off to relax is lazy. And things will go wrong if I take a break,” why not try, “I demand so much of my body and mind; I have to relax in order to be as efficient as I need to be.”
- Instead of believing, “I must be completely successful in everything I do,” why not try, “I’ll do my best within the circumstances of my control.”
- Instead of believing, “Life should be fair and the way I want it to be,” why not try, “Life isn’t always fair and the world can’t always be what I want it to be”.
- Instead of believing, “I should always do my best,” why not try, “It feels good when I do well.”
We’ve basically stripped away the unhelpful thinking styles; the all or nothings, the shoulds and musts, the mental filtering…
You can keep these new beliefs as short or lengthy as you like. But whatever you do, I definitely recommend writing them down and keeping them somewhere visible. If you’ve spent thirty years reinforcing certain beliefs, swapping them out isn’t going to happen overnight.
You’re going to need to keep looking at these new beliefs. Every day. Look at them, recite them (out loud and in your head). Look at them again. Ask yourself, “did I live out these new beliefs today?”
Keep doing this, day by day. And at some point, you might just notice that this new, snazzy belief has become a permanent resident, while your former unpleasant tenant has gone for good.
What beliefs would you like to swap out? Comments welcome: