Yesterday, I wrote about the dangers of putting your eggs in one basket, namely the potential for an all-out identity crisis if things don’t work out with those particular eggs.
I’ve also mentioned that I competed in BJJ on Saturday, and lost all three of my fights.
As I said then, I’m really proud of myself, because I somehow managed to step back on the very same mats on which I suffered a severe spiral fracture the last time I fought.
But of course, me being me, and having the solid relationship that I do with my old chum Anxiety, it wasn’t long before I was mentally beating myself up about what I did or didn’t do.
It wasn’t long before my mind associated losing with being a ‘loser’.
Years ago, something like this – a public viewing of failure – would have sat with me for days, weeks, months even. Nowadays, it barely gets through the front door. Much of this is down to the fact that I know how anxious thoughts work against me and I know that thoughts like this are not useful, kind or accurate, and therefore can be ignored. I might have to ignore them a thousand times in an evening, but ignored they are.
A big part of why I’m able to let the loss slide by, however, is that there’s other areas of my life that are really important too.
What it comes down to is that as much as I’ve given Jiu Jitsu my absolutely all this month – diet, exercise, focus, training and time – I know that it’s not who I am.
I am who I am. Jiu Jitsu is just something that I do.
This is why it’s so important to have balance in your life; to have interests and pursuits and hobbies and relationships; to spend your time doing more than just one thing.
So for me now, I can see that there’s things I need to work on in my Jiu Jitsu game whilst at the same time knowing that it doesn’t take anything away from who I am; it doesn’t even really matter that much. Yep I’ve taken a hit in that area, but I’m okay or better in other areas.
Loss, mistakes and hardships are inevitable. At some point, eggs will smash. That’s life. It’s just much easier to shake it off and carry on, if you have other eggs to carry.