Look – I’ll admit it – I’m a big-head sometimes. I have an ego; I like to win; I like to feel needed; I like to feel important. It’s only natural to look for ways to make yourself significant in life.
Even the most independent or indeed humble among us like to feel that we’re missed when we’re not there… that we matter.
So why the big secret?
Because we all know that almost-comically arrogant person. At every opportunity, they regale you with stories which emphasise their status, their bravery, success, their superhuman-like heroic skills. Often, these people are the greatest at everything they’ve ever done; self-taught experts on every topic.
And these people undoubtedly get lots out of their conversations with others. I’m sure they feel great, having shown those around them how special they are.
But for the one on the receiving end, this is a particularly yukky experience.
Because whilst it’s okay to bolster your own self-esteem in private, pushing how great you are in people’s faces just doesn’t result in good conversation, or a good connection.
So when you talk to other people, just remember these words from the incredible Maya Angelou:
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
When you’re on the verge of a brag, remember these words and instead of talking about yourself, ask the other person something about them.
Imagine how your conversations and relationships might grow, if you made it your secret mission to make other person feel that they were important; if you asked them about themselves before talking about you.
And of course, making other people feel great will make you feel great too. So you’re more than welcome to go home and stroke your own ego in private!