“How am I meant to go there and pretend that everything’s OK?”
These were the desperate words that I uttered to Mr. G last week, mid-way through another ‘wobble.’
Wise as ever, he turned to me and said: “Everything is OK. You just have to realise it.”
I knew instantly that he was right; that I’d forgotten my own advice and lost sight of my favourite mantra, that ‘whatever happens, I’ll handle it.’
After a night’s sleep, I came back to this idea that actually everything was OK. I know that anxiety makes imagined problems feel incredibly real.
So I threw together a table in my notebook and wrote down my imagined problems, followed by the actual problem (rooted in evidence) along with possible solutions.
Here’s an example:
IMAGINED PROBLEM: Argghhh! I’m so cash poor that I’m getting desperate! This means that I’m failing! I’m going to lose everything and end up stone-broke!
ACTUAL PROBLEM: While the business is going really well – better than I ever imagined even – it just takes time for the money to actually come in from clients. My balance is bound to be low as I’ve only been up and running for just over 2 months. I knew this would be the case: it’s part of the course.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS: I can attempt to talk to the right people and see if I can’t persuade them to pay me a little sooner than expected. Mr. G will help me out and pay all of our rent/bills if I ask. I can dip into my house savings as a last resort; I’ll put it back in later on.
Sometimes, when emotion takes over, problems can become overwhelming.
But it’s always, always a matter of perspective.
Take a step back and look at things from the role of a rational observer, rather than the person actually inside of the situation.
If it helps, scribble a few notes down too.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask yourself – am I blowing this up? Is everything as bad as I think? If I was talking to a friend in the same situation, what guidance would I give? If you try this, I’d love to know how you got on.
