A Daily Routine That Guarantees Depression

1. Get out of bed whenever you like. Alarm clocks are for suckers, just like routines.
2. Immediately start scanning the news and checking emails… anything that distracts you from the present moment or your thoughts/feelings.
3. Drink a super-strong coffee, while watching mindless trash on YouTube. It’s chilly and heating isn’t cheap, so feel free to get cosy under a blanket.
4. Find a reason to postphone exercise/meditation/journaling. Have another coffee instead.
5. If you’re up to it, get dressed. Just put on your scruffiest ‘home clothes.’ You’re not going out anyway, so what does it matter?
6. Be sure to look at yourself in the mirror though and seek out whatever physical defects you can find. Make sure you berate yourself for being ugly/fat/old.
7. Check your emails again and maybe the news too.
8. Skip doing the thing you’d planned to do first. You can always start your ‘Worst First’ policy tomorrow. Just crack on with work.
9. You can start taking work breaks tomorrow too. Today, you’re in the zone. Just work until you can’t possibly do anymore, only taking breaks for more coffee, toilet trips or to scoff whatever junk food is close to hand.
10. Now that you’ve worked yourself into mental and physical exhaustion, feel free to detach and distract. Mindlessly eat a meal that someone else cooked. Make minimal effort when it comes to conversation. Spend the night staring at various screens and continue to do so, right up until you fall asleep.
    

I wrote this list in the midst of just such a day, when I was having lots of thoughts about how ‘depressed’ I was and how ‘hopeless’ my situation was. I’d been acting and feeling like a victim, as if I had no control over how I felt. This exercise gave me the emotional distance I needed. It allowed me to see that whilst I couldn’t control the situation that had initially triggered the behaviour, there were a whole lot of other things that I could control.

When I really thought about my routine that day, I could see that it was a recipe for misery. It was the absolute opposite of how I’d behaved on days when I’d felt capable, calm, grateful and connected. I was also reminded that it wasn’t a fun but naughty ‘treat’ to eat junk food/skip exercise/break and endless stream of promises to myself. Treats feel nice and doing these things made me feel like crap.

If you find yourself in a state of misery, I highly recommend trying this exercise. It really helped me to rekindle my motivation and to make better choices the following day.