I’ve been a fan of James Clear, like so many others, since reading his book Atomic Habits. When it comes to habit-forming, he’s an absolute guru and if you haven’t read the book, it’s highly recommended. I’ve been receiving his newsletter for years now and I’ll often copy down any that I find particularly meaningful. Usually, I delete them once they’re no longer relevant, but the one I’m sharing today has never lots its meaning. He asks:
“For each headache you face, ask yourself, “Is this mostly real or mostly imagined? Do I have a problem, other than my thoughts?”
I don’t think that there’s a person alive, who would deny that overthinking can make problems seem worse. The most trivial or non-existent of setbacks and situations, can be magnified and catastrophised through the filter of our minds. Even those with the strongest mindsets, will likely have fallen into the odd mental trap. Whether assuming fault or disqualifying the positive, negative thoughts can make the world seem much darker.
What’s even worse is that you can know all of this, but still end up stuck in the vicious cycle. The negative thoughts trigger uncomfortable feelings, which reinforce the thoughts and create new ones. Logic and reason go out of the window and you can only see the situation through the filter of emotion.
That’s why I love this quote from James Clear. Because asking this question interrupts the cycle.
More times than I can count, I’ve been in a pit of anxiety and used this question to pull myself out. Nine times out of ten, when I ask this question, I come to the conclusion that I’ve invented the problem. I’m simply repeating an unhelpful thought pattern and if that wasn’t there, there’d be nothing to think about.
Every now and then, when there actually might be an issue, asking this question is still helpful. It brings me to a place of logic and reason, where I can strip back the emotions that are compounding the problem and see things as they are, minus the story. Once I’m in a state that’s more constructive/level-headed, I can decide on the best course of action and hopefully take it.
The next time you find yourself in a bad situation, stop and ask yourself if you really have a problem. Because life’s hard enough, without imagining problems. And it’s too short to waste, worrying about nothing.
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