My very wise and lovely friend says that wherever there’s conflict between what you really think or want, and how you actually act, there’s going to be feelings of discomfort.
If you’re turning down the cake, but something inside really wants that bloody cake, then you’re going to feel deprived.
If you’re saying, “yes” to the social occasion, not because you actually want to go, but because you’re afraid of saying no… then you’re going to feel bitter.
And if you’re constantly putting a filtered, perfect image of yourself out there online, then you’re going to feel anxious about seeing people in person, and not living up to the fake ideal that you yourself have created.
So what’s the answer? As I see it, we have 2 options:
- Change your perspective – for example, work on seeing the cake not as a treat, but something that doesn’t make you feel good, and doesn’t actually taste good if you really eat it mindfully. Notice the urge to have it more as a sign of sugar withdrawal, and know that each pang of this is the killing of the hungry sugar-eating monster inside. After a week of this, that cake won’t look half as appealing.
- Change your behaviour to match your true feelings – eat the cake, skip the party and post real pictures or nothing at all.
It’s so simple, but we get this wrong so often. We allow a battle to ensue between our heart and our head, and expect the battleground of our body to feel like rainbows and marshmallow.
It’s not going to happen.