Whenever my work with kids broaches the subject of unhelpful thinking styles, I’m find myself inadvertently re-addressing my own negative thinking habits.
My proclivity towards certain thinking styles depends on the day and the situation – a hefty dose of PMT for example, nearly always results in me ‘labelling’ myself a fat, unlovable cow.
Overall though, I’d say my biggest and most consistent offence is that I jump to conclusions, both in terms of reading minds and in predicting the future.
No matter what the situation, I assume the worst possible outcome, or assume that others are thinking the worst possible thing about me.
They haven’t replied? They must be pissed off at me/I must have done something wrong.
Should I drive the long way or the short way home? The long way because no one will let me out at that junction.
Enticed by a job offer? Nah – they’ll soon find out that I’m not good enough.
This kind of habit goes hand-in-hand with self-doubt, insecurity and a deeply-embedded lack of trust in myself, others and the world around me.
And what I’m noticing more and more – is that it’s just bullshit!
Because when I do take chances; when I do take the short way home, people DO let me out at that particularly stressful junction; when my friends are late to reply to messages, it’s because they were busy, not upset; and when I do convince myself to take up job offers and opportunities, I find myself ‘stepping up’ rather than being ‘found out.’
I’m worrying myself silly, to the point where it alters my mood, thoughts, feelings and actual behaviour, based on a load of assumptions that are proven to be untrue!
So here I’m reminded of a quote. A quote that I’m going to strive to think of, whenever I’m reading minds or predicting the future.
“Assume’ makes an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’.”
Life’s too short to worry about what someone might think or what might happen.
Surely, we’ve got enough on with actual problems, without throwing in the fictional ones too!