I used to believe that if a person was incredibly shy… then they’d be incredibly shy forever.
And in part, I still think this. Afterall, once an introvert, always an introvert.
At least when no one else is looking.
What I also believe now that I didn’t before, is that a person can change their behaviour; that they can fake it until they become it; that if an extremely shy person practices confidence with consistency, variety and commitment, then they will absolutely become more confident than they were.
So if you are indeed lacking in confidence, then ask yourself: how might I go about practising some each day? How might I fit this into my daily routine?
Perhaps you struggle to make eye contact. Is there part of your routine when travelling or working or shopping or running errands, when you could set an intention to use eye contact as much as possible?
Maybe body language is working against, not for you. Could you use a place as an anchor (a chair you often sit in or a picture you see) which would remind you to pull that head up and shoulders back?
Are you afraid of speaking to new people? Why not try out some trial runs with people who don’t technically ‘matter’ (i.e. the cashier who you’ll likely never see again rather than your new client at work when the stakes are significantly higher).
Get this gist? I hope so.
Finding self-belief after a lifetime of self-doubt isn’t an overnight job.
It’s a case of practice, patience and repetition.
This isn’t going to turn you into a Superhero overnight, but it’s a great place to start.