Last time around I talked about Sliding Doors moments; those times when a seemingly insignificant choice/action causes ripples of consequence that we will never know.
I also name-dropped Brene Brown. And sorry – not sorry – I’m going to have to do it again. Recently, I read ‘Daring Greatly,’ and something she said about betrayal in relationships really took me aback.
She said that while most people think of betrayal in a relationship as something extreme i.e. cheating/lying, in fact, the betrayal present in most relationships today is much more common, less extreme but just as damaging – it’s the betrayal of disengagement.
And you know what? I’m guilty. I’m so unbelievably guilty.
Whether it’s pretending to listen, whilst scrolling through Facebook; dismissing his needs, because I don’t want to talk about it right now (or more likely, because it makes me feel vulnerable and uncomfortable); or turning away at those times – those ‘sliding door’ moments – when I could instead turn towards; I’ve switched off.
In today’s world, it’s all too easy for habit of disengagement to become the norm. Not just in our relationships, in everything.
This isn’t life, it’s existence.
And I don’t want that.
Not in my relationships, or any other part of my life.