The Betrayal of Disengagement

Last time around I talked about Sliding Doors moments; those times when a seemingly insignificant choice/action causes ripples of consequence that we will never know.

I also name-dropped Brene Brown. And sorry – not sorry – I’m going to have to do it again.┬áRecently, I read ‘Daring Greatly,’ and something she said about betrayal in relationships really took me aback.

She said that while most people think of betrayal in a relationship as something extreme i.e. cheating/lying, in fact, the betrayal present in most relationships today is much more common, less extreme but just as damaging – it’s the betrayal of disengagement.

And you know what? I’m guilty. I’m so unbelievably guilty.

Whether it’s pretending to listen, whilst scrolling through Facebook; dismissing his needs, because I don’t want to talk about it right now (or more likely, because it makes me feel vulnerable and uncomfortable); or turning away at those times – those ‘sliding door’ moments – when I could instead turn towards; I’ve switched off.

In today’s world, it’s all too easy for habit of disengagement to become the norm.┬áNot just in our relationships, in everything.

This isn’t life, it’s existence.

And I don’t want that.

Not in my relationships, or any other part of my life.

 

 

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