Happy 2018 – Day 109 – Make fear a Counselor, not a jailer

Tony Robbins says:

“Make fear a Counselor, not a jailer.”

I wrote recently about how unhelpful it is to expect that you’ll conquer fear.

Fear is part of you, and whilst you can certainly reduce its’ grip on you, you’ll never be rid of it.

And that’s ok. Because we need it!

Ultimately, fear’s job is to protect us; to make us aware of potential threats so that we can act accordingly. An element of fearlessness in a person might seem attractive, but in reality, it can also lead to destructive recklessness.

Fear, the Counselor, will keep you just scared enough to stay cautious, careful and measured when you try things out of your comfort zone. It also gives you an incentive to work hard and get results.

Imagine you have an important presentation to perform in front of your colleagues. Fear will council you to prepare thoroughly so that you do a good job, and so that you don’t embarrass yourself royally. Chances are that if you approached this without fear, you’d be inclined to ‘wing it’ and wouldn’t do nearly as well.

At the same time, don’t let fear become your jailer. This image really resonates with me, having spent much of my life caged by fear. Fear was my reason for not doing what I wanted, or being the person I wanted to be. It was a dark, oppressive force in my life, offering nothing constructive.

You can’t get rid of fear – you need it in your life. But that doesn’t mean you have to let it control you.

Fear the Counselor offers advice that you, the patient, can choose to listen to or ignore. As Counselors go, he can be fairly irrational too, so sometimes you need to take what he says with a pinch of salt. Just remember that everything he says comes from a good place – he’s looking out for you.