Tony Robbin’s ‘Chemistry of Transformation’ (and ‘Will I Ever Quit Coffee?)

It’s a wonderful thing when worlds collide and your favourite self-helper, Tony Robbins, goes on a podcast with your favourite comedian (and loveliest humans) Theo Von. I thoroughly enjoyed watching their conversation (below) and filled a good few post-it notes with the things that I learned.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9cvzW0m_ZU&list=RDCMUC5AQEUAwCh1sGDvkQtkDWUQ&start_radio=1

One of those notes outlined Tony’s ‘Chemistry of Transformation,’ the cycle that he believes people go through, before they’re ready to make a change. It goes like this:
1. Satiation: I’m bored of doing the same thing again and again.
2. Dissatisfaction: I’m doing the same thing and I’m not even enjoying it anymore.
3. Reaching the Threshold: I can see clearly that this isn’t good. It hasn’t been good in the past, the present and it won’t be good in the future.
4. Insight: It’s not X, Y or Z. The problem is coming from inside me.  
5. Action: I’m ready to take action now, before the moment passes and I’m doomed to repeat the cycle again.

I thought it would be useful to share, especially now at this time of year, when so many of us look to take on better habits and make difficult changes. It has me thinking about my own habits and specifically my addiction to coffee.

I could write a novel about my reasons for wanting to quit the bean – anxiety and panic attacks, poor sleep, mood and energy yoyos, financial cost, yadda yadda yadda. I’ve quit many times, for periods as long as six month, but somehow I always go back. Every time I do, I feel a little less hopeful that change is even possible. I trust in my agency and capabilities a little bit less. I feel a little less in control and more like a puppet, led by my urges, emotions and impulses.

So yeah. It’s not heroin, I know, but it’s not nothing either. It’s definitely something that I would like to change. Therefore, I thought it would be useful to apply Tony’s words of wisdom to my caffeine addiction and consider where I am in the cycle, right now.

1. Satiation: Check. I’ve been drinking coffee from my early twenties and trying to taper/reduce/quit throughout the whole time. I’m so bored of thinking about coffee.
2. Dissatisfaction: I don’t enjoy the taste or the side-effects. Admittedly, I still get that rush of endorphins with the first cup, but I’m not even sure I like that anymore. The energy feels cocky instead of confident; distracted instead of focused. It just feels like too much. I’m putting myself into fight, flight, freeze… but there aren’t any lions or tigers to fight, so I have no real use for all that energy. No wonder it turns into a cloud of distracted nervousness.
3. Reaching the Threshold: I’m turning 40 this year and this milestone birthday has made me extra reflective. So I can see with absolute clarity, that I’m at the threshold. Coffee hasn’t worked for me in the past. It isn’t working for me in the present. And it won’t work for me in the future.

4. Insight: So… this is where I’m at. Or where I’m approaching. I know that coffee isn’t the problem. My relationship with coffee is the problem. It’s the way I rely on coffee as a crutch, as if I can’t be awake or confident or even myself if I don’t drink it. It’s the way I’ll attribute my successes to caffeine, as if the cup of coffee wrote the blog post and went to the gym, when the truth is… I did these things, ME, and I did them despite drinking coffee much of the time.

More than anything, it’s the mental space that coffee takes up; the endless questioning of ‘will I,’ ‘won’t I?’ It’s exhausting and distracting. It’s distracting me from LIFE.

In 2023, I quit alcohol for this same reason. It’s been over a year since I’ve touched a drop. And honestly, the best outcome has been the mental freedom. I’ve lost the inner-dialogue that used to accompany every weekend and social event, the inner-turmoil about whether I would or wouldn’t drink and so on. I’d love that same clarity and freedom when it comes to coffee.

5. Action: I want to be here, but honestly I’m not sure that I am. I guess I have doubts my own strength and will. It’s hard to feel hopeful, after decades of failed attempts. Then again, maybe I just need a new plan – something I haven’t tried before.

When I quit booze, I followed a 90-day programme, with daily reflections to reinforce my decision. There’s no reason why I couldn’t follow this again, but apply the content to coffee instead of booze.

I usually like to end my blogs with a meaningful conclusion; something that hammers home the key point. But I’m not sure that’s possible today. So in the interest of being authentic, I’m afraid I’m going to have leave you on this non-dramatic cliff-hanger.

I want to quit coffee. I’m not sure I can. But I’m willing to change my approach to quitting, as I’ve nothing to lose. I’m going to seek out the online programme I followed to quit booze for 90 days and I’ll give you an update when there’s something to say.

Maybe there’s something that you’d like to change. Maybe you’re less jaded than I am at present and able to harness the ‘chemistry of transformation.’ If so, let me know what you’re up to in the comment below. Heaven knows I could do with the advice.

x