“Say what you feel…”

On Sunday, I wrote about gossip and how my own pursuits as a gossiper had effectively taught my mind that people weren’t to be trusted. I also said that as a people-pleaser, I learnt to shy away from honestly and confrontation face-to-face, for fear of upsetting the person in question, the social code of etiquette or simply because I was afraid.

So when I saw this quote, from Dr. Seuss, a man who has given us so many pearls of wisdom, I thought it was worth the share:

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

One of my personal goals this year is to be a little more honest with those around me. It’s not going to be easy – my hardwired response to many situations is to de-escalate; to say what I think someone wants to hear; the prioritize peace and harmony above what I want or even need to say.
Anything for an easy life. Right? Mmmm. Only staying quiet when you’ve something to say doesn’t feel easy at all.

In fact, when silence becomes a habit, as it has for me, it begins to feel like a cage.

At the end of the day, it comes back to our old friend, control.

I can’t control a person’s reaction to what I say. I can’t control what they’ll say, do, think or feel.

But I can control whether I say it or not.

If I’m always witholding the truth; pretending that all is okay; aren’t I denying them the chance to react to my honest thoughts and feelings? Might I find that I was simply assuming the worst when I was predicting their reaction? Could it be that they might suprise me? Are my expectations of those around me so low?

On those occasions where I have opened my mouth and dared to speak the truth, this is often what I’ve found. Just as┬áDr. Seuss says, “those who matter don’t matter.”

At least, not for long.

 

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