Yesterday, I talked about taking Matthew McConaughey’s advice: “If you don’t know who you are, decide who you’re not.” After writing the blog, the idea of this was very much still in my mind. I’ve talked before about feeling found – at last – at least when it comes to my career. But I’m under no illusion that this is a permanent state. As I continue to change, along with the people and world around me, I know that it’s unlikely that this feeling will last. Undoubtedly, I will be lost once more. If not in my career, in my personal life.
If life is a journey, then it’s one in which we repeatedly become lost, often after stumbling along in the wrong direction for miles at a time.
It’s only our inner compass – our core values and gut instincts – that eventually bring us back to a route that feels right to us.
Anyway. Being a lover of organisation and writing things down in general, my gut instincts were telling me that I’d benefit from writing some things down.
Here’s my list of who I’m not (or who I’d rather not be):
- I’m not someone who avoids situations, people, places, opportunities etc.
because of fear/physical sensations of fear.
- I’m not someone who self-sabotages themselves rather than face up to problems.
- I’m not someone who lets other people down at the last minute, regardless of the reason.
- I’m not someone who puts work ahead of my own health or the health of important relationships.
- I’m not someone who lets others push me into acting in a way that isn’t in line with my own character.
- I’m not someone who values wealth or status above personality and kindness.
- I’m not someone who lets excuses get in the way of excellence.
- I’m not someone who puts my own needs behind everyone elses, to my own detriment.
- I’m not someone who gives advice but doesn’t follow my own.
- I’m not someone else who pulls others down, envious of their success.
Some of these things are bonafide habits now; I don’t even have to try. But some behaviours, like putting work above my health, are things that I easily slip into when deadlines approach.
All this means is that slip-ups are to be expected. At some point, I’ll probably do thing that seems more in line with who I’m not, rather than who I am. As a general rule though, if I have my list of who I’m not and I strive to avoid doing things on this list, it’s only common sense that my daily behaviour will become increasingly in line with who I am. Even if I don’t know who that person is!
Can you come up with a top ten of things you’re not or don’t want to be?