I’ve been managing a lot of hard feelings lately: shame, anxiety, worthlessness, depression. They hit me like waves every so often, sometimes so deep that I’ll fear they’ll drown me. For years, it was my response to fight against these feelings, or to numb and ignore them, which made things worse…
Until I discovered the ‘Exploring Difficulty’ meditation, where you face hard feelings with an attitude of curiosity.
You actively bring up something unpleasant in your mind, something that triggers uncomfortable feelings. Then you let your attention drop into your body and you explore what the feelings actually feel like. It’s not easy (though it gets easier with practice.) But, man it’s effective.
Other meditations that take your focus elsewhere – listening, breathing, body scans etc. – for me, seem to offer only temporary relief. Whereas, facing hard feelings seems more like deep healing and less like a band-aid or another distraction.
Having ‘explored difficulty’ every day in March, it seemed that I was unpicking the stories of my feelings. I experienced things like anxiety, as I might experience a stomach ache: the feelings were just feelings, instead of evidence that I was a terrible, pathetic, worthless or bad person.
As such, the sensations became less intense and through increased exposure, they seemed less frightening too. The more I practised, the stronger I felt. I began to trust in my ability to do hard things (because I had a habit and memories of doing just that) and I felt less inclined to avoid anxiety-provoking situations, knowing I had more of a handle on my feelings.
Don’t believe me? Try it and see! Even better, try it every day for a week. Prove to yourself that you can handle tough feelings. Watch the waves fade, after they’ve risen…
Anxious-Ambition.com 