In A Mood? Check These Three Things!

Recently, I listened to Tony Robbins, repeating a lesson I’d heard (from him) a decade or so before. It was something I’d forgotten and something important, and definitely something worth sharing here.

If you’re experiencing a bad mood/intrusive thoughts/negative emotions, Tony’s advice is to check these three things.

1. POSTURE – What am I doing with my body? Am I ‘acting’ depressed/angry/worried. How can I take the opposite posture and move my body in a better way? Can I inspire my mind, through body language?
   
2. FOCUS – Where’s my mental focus? Am I running from something negative or towards something positive? What kind of images am I picturing? What kind of questions am I asking? Is is possible to ask better ones (and to get better answers?) How might I talk about this, if I was supporting a friend through the same problem?
   
3. LANGUAGE – What kind of language am I using, in relation to this situation? Am I being overly-descriptive of the negative? Am I using emotive words in the wrong places? How can I make my language more uplifting and inspiring (or at least, less misery-provoking?)

Here’s a situation that I’ve repeated many times, to give you an idea of what this actually might look like:
You’re laid on the couch, pretending to watch TV, the physical embodiment of a human slug. You’re thinking about the fact that you’ve messed up your diet. You were doing so well, but of course, you failed. Why do I always self-sabotage? I’m doomed to be a chubby, unhappy, pathetic yoyo-dieter for the rest of your life.

Now, let’s imagine how you might change your state:
1. Posture is usually a good place to start. So let’s imagine that you sit up on the couch and adopt a more upright posture. Your look up instead of down, pull your shoulders back and open your chest, allowing fuller breaths.
2. Your brain is probably a little confused, because your body language now contradicts the negative thought processes (rather than echoing it.) You see that you’re focused on failure more than success, and that “Why do I always self-sabotage?” is a loaded question with few good answers. So… you consider what you’d say to a friend in this situation, developing new questions like: “What can I learn from this? How might I adapt my approach? Am I being too hard on myself? What positives might I be disregarding?” You focus on the solution, not the problem.
3. Though you’re already feeling a lift in your mood, you take a moment to consider the quality of your self-talk. You’re struck by how emotive (and cruel!) your language is; how words and phrases magnify the negative. You would never use this kind of language if you were speaking to a friend. So… you strip back the drama and instead say something like: “I’ve been really consistent with my healthy eating recently, but I had a bit of a blip this weekend. I forgive myself, because I’m human. I’m going to try being a little less restrictive and see if that makes a difference going forward.”

That’s it folks! Let me know if you manage to have a go at this. I have it on a post-it on my desk, so hopefully I’ll remember to run through the steps the next time I’m unhappy about something and slumped in my chair! I’ll keep you posted.