Last year, I discovered award-winning confidence coach, Jo Emerson. I found her so inspiring that I ended up reading her book, ‘Learn to Fly’ as well as completing her online course. Her advice is really simple and incredibly effective. It’s all about listening to your inner voice, accessing what’s already there inside of you, rather than needing to add or change something about yourself.
Seriously folks, if lack of confidence/anxiety/indecision is something that you struggle with, I can’t recommend this lady enough.
Admittedly, I’m a fan girl, which is why I was sure to catch her appearance on BBC Women’s Hour, where she advised listeners to follow this advice in moments of anxiety/discomfort:
Ask yourself, “What thought have I just been believing?” Get really clear about this. Then ask yourself, “What’s the opposite thought?”
Now, try on the new thought, as if it’s a new hairstyle or jacket, and choose to believe it for the next hour. Later, notice and reflect on how your experience of life changes.
I’ve been trying this for a while now and I’ve found it to be really helpful. Just the other day, I was seething over an online disagreement with a friend, so I paused and noticed my thoughts mindfully. I saw that my anger was centred around the belief that ‘I’m right and she’s wrong.’ I switched it to, ‘It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong. All that matters is that we listen, with empathy.’ This didn’t resolve the argument, because I can’t control how other people think or act, but that’s not what this is about. It’s about how it made me feel (a whole lot better!) and the fact that I was able to speak my mind without allowing myself to be driven by anger/hurt, but instead by compassion.
So there you go. The next time you’re mid-wobble, stop and try this. Let me know if it makes a difference in the comments below!