Let’s start with a quote from my all-time favourite children’s author, Roald Dahl:
“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
In a world of selfies, filters and airbrushing, it can sometimes feel like the only thing that matters is what you actually look like. When people ‘like’ your pictures, it makes you feel good. The more attractive you look, the more likes you’ll probably get. The more likes, the better you must be.
But as nice as that is, there’s often no more connection here than if someone were to ‘like’ a picture of an attractive vase, or sofa, or scarf. It feels shallow. Wanting. Cold.
In reality, while we may be attracted to someone initially based on looks, it’s personality that make us stay. Who amongst us hasn’t been drawn to an outwardly appealing person, only to be immediately repelled by character traits like arrogance, ignorance, bitterness or cruelty? These ugly character traits give off a stench like a cheap perfume. No matter how pretty the packaging is, you can’t stay near them for too long without choking on their toxic fumes.
In just the same way, happiness and kindness and good thoughts really do radiate. People who are perhaps below average in terms of physical appearance, but above average in kindness, confidence, selflessness and warmth, can attract people towards them like magnets.
You might hit Insta-fame by posting flawless holiday pics, just as you might turn heads with a post-box red lipstick in a bar – but if you want this to translate to real human relationships and connection, you need to pay as much (if not more) attention to the thoughts in your head, and the words you use towards other people.
I’ll finish with another fabulous quote, this time from Maya Angelou.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Grow good thoughts in your head, about yourself and others, and share these everywhere you go. You’ll instantly increase your appeal, and there’s no harm in combining your sexy attitude with some lippy and heels too!