Mel Robbins has a knack of getting right to the point; of making the seemingly complicated incredibly simple.
As someone who could inject drama and overthinking into any and every situation, this is probably why I like her so much. I need people like this around me. Even if we never actually meet!
One of my favourite ever quotes is from Mel Robbins as follows:
“If you have a problem that can be solved with action, then you don’t have a problem.”
Let’s look at some examples of how this might work:
- I’m too tired to get out of bed and exercise.
Cue Mel’s 5,4,3,2,1 and do it. After a week’s worth of this, momentum will carry me forward. Before you know it, I have more energy, despite getting out of bed earlier.
- I feel disconnected in my relationship. Put your phone down and turn towards your partner. Tell them how you feel. Ask them how they feel, and listen, with an open mind. Re-connection begins with mindful conversation and really paying attention.I can attest to this one having built up relationship problems in my head time after time, only to find instant relief as soon as an actual conversation happens.
- I’m really angry at someone.Have you told them? It doesn’t necessarily have to be a confrontation, especially if you use ‘I statements’ like, ‘When you said this, I felt that… ‘If telling them isn’t the right way forward, work on ways to let go of the feeling. A Loving Kindness meditation is always a good place to start:
“May you be happy, may you be safe, may you be peaceful, may you be kind”.
- I feel anxious and I don’t like it.Take action through mindfulness, moving your attention towards these feelings with non-judgemental curiosity, or somewhere else such as the breath.And work on your perspective. Is this really a problem or rather a rather irritating friend that always appears whenever you do something new, challenging or potentially amazing? Maybe by working on acceptance of the discomfort, we can become more comfortable with it.
Looking to my own experience, I know that the majority of my problems are often fixable through action.
I need to remember this, when I’m stuck in procrastination and avoidance, pretending that I don’t feel those warning nudges and pulls from my gut.
Of course, not every problem does have a quick-fix, especially when we are dealing with BIG feelings. But even then, there’s often an action to take that will alleviate the weight of the problem, somewhat, even if only for a brief time – and this isn’t nothing.
So consider the worries and problems on your mind right now. Ask yourself: is there something I could do right now that would resolve them, or at least make them less of a problem? If there is, do it!